I am actually pretty happy right now. Pretty happy in the day time, that is. Last night I had a dream. A dream about a friend who revealed herself as not a friend. At least she did in the dream. This would be the same friend who launched into a who "thing" to FL about how we need to be together. I told you guys about that right? OK.

I don't recall the exact details of the dream. But I recall that in it, she was completely foul and maybe even a stalker. A bit of background on this friend. We've known each other since college. Linesisters in fact. She's a year younger than me but I never considered her a little sister. Not because she wasn't little sisterish but because I'm used to being the youngest in my regular social groups and I never like being treated that way. And, I've never had a little sister relationship even with my own little sister so why go having those relationships now?

This friend has imitated me in nearly everything I do. I get new car, she gets her parents to get her a new car. I go to graduate school, she goes to graduate school. I get electronic appliance from boyfriend as gift, she tells her boyfriend to get her the same thing. For goodness sakes, she moved right across the street from me. I get my hair done a certain way, not only does she copy but she goes to my salon!!! I think you get the picture.

I know what you're thinking: Single White Female!!! Right? I know!! Except that I'm Black but all the other variables are pretty much the same.

So you can see why this dream freaked me out. I'm one of those people that has either really abstract dreams (penis on shin) or really specific dreams. I look for the meaning in the abstract dreams but the more realistic ones' meanings are evident. Don't you think? It's obvious that there's something new she's trying to copy and hurt me in the process. I think back to any information I've given her about my life. I don't think she has ready access to any of my men--except for FL because she knows his first and last name. Damn!

I had myself a little talk with FL this morning. I'll give you the Cliff Notes.

FL apologized for the marriage statement saying after it left his mouth, he knew I'd take it the wrong way--even though he was joking. WTF-ever.
He feels like I live my life with me, my wants, and my timeline at the center. I come with plans laid out without consulting him or even attemtping anything close to a compromise. And he usually doesn't mind but I can't get everything my way all the time--with him or in the rest of the world.
He's done so much for me and been so available he doesn't quite get why one time he's not where he's supposed to be is such a big deal. Then there was another apology and something about him not being perfect.
According to him, I'm spoiled and have always been this way. I disagree. This usually doesn't bother him because I make an effort not to be but only when I feel like it.
I over think things. The other night was not about control. It was his mistake for not keeping better track of the time.
I could barely get a word in edge wise. It was like he'd read this blog and had been already prepared for this convo. So which of you has been acting as a double agent? Feeding FL information about me??

Nothing interesting on the job front, emotional development front, man front, home front. Although I do have a pimple--which is rare. I am not stressed because everything is going fine in my life.

I am completely unfocused today. Not that I have so much work to be focused on. But hell, I can't even focus long enough to finish a complete bloggable thought. So, that being the case, I started day-dreaming about my weekend. I need to clean and wash and pick up dry cleaning. What I need is a house-keeper and a casting couch teens  assistant. I just need the house-keeper to come in once and get my stuff more managable. Because for real, right now it's not.

I have three laundry hampers in my house and a cleaners bag. One is in the bathroom for towels, the other two are in my bedroom walk-in closet. One for whites, one for colors. And there's the cleaners bag--pretty self explainatory. It's not the washing I detest. It's the folding. It's so tedious! I'm trying ot hype myself up. But I've been trying to do that for the past few days.

The kitchen? Dishes in the sink, not many because it's only me eatting. The dishwasher? Full of clean dishes. The oven? A mess, by my standards. The floor? There's nice pile of of stuff I swept up. But I was so uninspired that I left the pile there and positioned the broom and duskpan up against the wall, beside where I'd placed the bucket and mop.

Luckily, the living and dinning parts of tidy.

That being said, I am not really excited about cleaning anything this weekend. I want to be out among the people. Out sucking up the last bit of good weather. In this area, one day it's 75, the next it's 50! No in between. No gradual decline in temp. One day warm. Next day cold!